You Were Inside Your Grandmother as She Carried Your Mother in Her Belly
I come from a long line of strong women wo have perserved and loved through cultural, societal and economical limitations, often to the detriment to their own health.
The stories they carried have been so strongly rooted and passed down throughout my life that I almost feel their trauma and pain in my life which looks so different to theirs.
As I struggled to heal and adapt to motherhood, all this pain was raw and living just under the surface of me, I could feel it, hear it and sense it. Though I knew it wasn't mine I realised I carried it and had to honour it.
In order to honour their sacrifices and pain I would have to understand my place in this line. I was an educated woman, married by my own choice with 2 children. I had carved out a creative career and had been independent. I had so many of these great gifts because of the struggles they went through to enable me to have a better life.
Lineage is about accepting where we are from and playing our part in righting the wrongs that came before us, not accepting or succumbing to them.
With everything so close to the surface, I knew it was time to start to let go of some of these pains; difficulties with men and marriage, lack of financial independence, loss of dreams.
My taking and utilising all the opportunities ahead of me I had a chance to change the course of their lives, to take their contributions and turn them into their dreams through my life today.
Honouring was about giving thanks for all I had today, which they didn't have yesterday and transmuting that pain into power. My power; their power.
The first step was relationship work and finding strength and empowerment in my marriage, alongside joy.
The second was to heal myself so that pain went no further in our family line and my boys could see a woman filled with joy and vitality.
The third was financial independence and removing my money mindset limitations, empowering myself to have financial freedom and choices.
The final step was to love my life and heal my body and mind. I have always believed the trauma experienced by the women before me triggered their cancers; suppressed pain and illness trapped in their bodies. Loving myself, my life and my health are all part of honouring this life of mine that they nourished and facilitated through their brave choices and sacrifices.