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Showing posts from 2019

Buying a House and Home? A RICS Survey isn't Enough, Here Are My Tips From Experience

Here I am 18 months after we bought what we thought was our dream home.  We sold our smaller house as we outgrew it with growing kids and to be honest we always intuitively felt that the house layout was not the right overall for our family.  So we made the decision not to go through extensive building works which would lead to spiralling costs and upgrade to a larger house, where the work has already been undertaken even though we may pay a little more for that finish.

We found the house we thought ticked all our boxes.  The layout was perfect, the location great and the price worked.  We put in an offer that was kept on hold until our house was sold.  The following week our house was on the market with Purple Bricks (be wary of the conveyancing charge if you opt to pay after the sale) and a week later we had an offer, so we were off!

Armed with a mortgage offer (which is a mission in itself to secure) we thought all was good, despite the slighly odd arrangement with the tennant who…

Money Mindset Part I - Defining my Relationship with Money and Building my Sense of Value and Esteem

'Find a penny, pick it up and all day you'll have good luck'
'Look after the pennies and the pounds will look after themselves'

When you see or hear about money what comes into your mind?

For me it was easy come, easy go - to be honest.  There never seemed to be enough money and even large amounts seemed to float through and out of my life and I could never really account of where it went, it certainly didn't grow and I had no connection to it at all, in fact I have come to realise I was actually scared of it.

My first money mindset work was to get to grips with my money. I always avoided looking at the accounts and having to see it dwindle away, feeling like there was never enough and always going into thousands of pounds of overdraft as I had no management of it at all.
So rather than just create an excel budget (which I did and was really helpful to actually see what I had coming in and therefore what I could actually AFFORD to spend) I also wanted to track…

Tools to Release Resentment & Find Inner Freedom

I recently heard a version of this quote and it was a real aha moment as a previous long time sufferer of resentment, jealousy and envy. Don’t get me wrong, I think I’m a nice person I’ve just been prone to comparison and perfectionism, all of which stem from my own low self value and esteem (not recognising my own fab-ness)
Hearing Rick Hanson quote this on Marie TV was a revelation for my soul, I’ve felt intuitively for some time that my resentment was hurting me inside, I could feel it. When the thoughts hit that triggered these feelings, my energy dropped, my jaw tightened, my heart closed.  If I wanted to have peace of mind, I had to find ways of living calmly and without this toxic inner torment (that also created toxic interactions too). 
So I set to work looking for ways to free my mind from the thoughts that were creating this inner suffocation. 
The first place I turned was REIKI after an incident that left me internally collapsing and feeling my trust would forever be impacted…

Self Love: We Can't Love Others Until We Love Ourselves

I am just having this revelation. I have always known this on a conceptual level but at this moment I am experiencing the great relief, knowing and freedom that comes from accepting this and embracing this through experiential reflectiveness.

We can't love others until we love ourselves is a common phrase we often hear but what is self love?

I started the post with the above lines in 2016 and I’m continuing this in 2019, having deepened my journey into self-love and understanding how it has changed my life.
Self-love is about deeply accepting, appreciating and valuing yourself; what’s important to you, what fire do you need to fuel for yourself & how do you treat yourself in the world.
When I started this journey 3 years ago it was a concept and I’ve lived & breathed it into cells over the last 3 years. It’s been a journey of great discomfort and pain at times, the unravelling and having to face myself had been challenging and many tears have been shed but it’s been worth…

Autism & Mothering - What I've Learnt & What the Journey has Given Me

On 4th April it was Autism Awareness Day.  Years ago these days would have passed me by with little concern but over the last 8 years I have become more and more aware of the importance as my child has been diagnosed as being on the Autistic Spectrum.

It's the journey of being his mother that inspired this blog so I wanted to share a piece I wrote a while back about what I've gained from my amazing son.

Emotional and physical demandsBeing a mother is emotionally and physically demanding. Being a mother when there are additional needs can be additionally challenging as you try to hold together someone else’s world, so they can feel safe in the ordinary day to day.  Often those with asd require additional support with their emotions, which feel overwhelming and challenging to understand.  My own experience was physical too,  particularly when my son was a toddler and physical expression was more available to him than verbal.  The toughest days felt mentally and physically exhaustin…

A Solo Holiday to Ibiza - Mum Escape

A holiday on my own and my first trip to Ibiza, some mental space away in the sunshine age 37 married and with 2 children. 

After years of not travelling very far as my husband is scared to fly, I felt the itch to see the world and be warmed by the sun.  When a friend invited me to his 50th birthday at the amazing Atzaro in Ibiza I knew I had to go and would figure out the how. 
I procrastinated and 3 months before the party it was time to commit and look at flights and hotels. On a part time salary I needed to be creative to give myself a relaxing break that was within my budget as a solo traveller. 
I stayed in Santa Eulalia which was recommended at a Grupotel Spa Hotel for 3 nights, it was affordable for and comfortable. For my next trip I would definitely look to stay at the Atzaro for a total wind-down break.  Flights I booked via British Airways and got a great deal using my Avios and in school summer holidays too. 
The Highs of Solo Travelling as a Mother

I got to this just about me; …

5 Ways To Deal With Emotional Overwhelm As A Mother

Alongside the joys being a mother can be difficult; dealing with emotions of others whilst also having to manage our own issues and emotions can be challenging and lead to overwhelm.
A classic sign of this can be fight, flight, freeze or fawn: wishing we could be somewhere else, feeling like we are wanting to get away, change the situation, wirthdrawing into ourselves or excessively putting others needs before our own. 
So what can we do to support ourselves as mothers when our children feel challenging and time, privacy and external support may not be readily available?
Here are 5 things you could try:
Take a Break
The to do list can feel endless, the children are in overwhelm and every sense bit of patience within feels like it’s escaping. This can be a good time to stop, take a pause and re-group. Take a break with a cup of tea, step out for a walk, go to another room and do something that’s about you. 
Ask for Help
A partner is not always available but where else can we get physical and …

Honouring Our Lineage

You Were Inside Your Grandmother as She Carried Your Mother in Her Belly

I come from a long line of strong women wo have perserved and loved through cultural, societal and economical limitations, often to the detriment to their own health.

The stories they carried have been so strongly rooted and passed down throughout my life that I almost feel their trauma and pain in my life which looks so different to theirs.

As I struggled to heal and adapt to motherhood, all this pain was raw and living just under the surface of me, I could feel it, hear it and sense it.  Though I knew it wasn't mine I realised I carried it and had to honour it.

In order to honour their sacrifices and pain I would have to understand my place in this line.  I was an educated woman, married by my own choice with 2 children.  I had carved out a creative career and had been independent.  I had so many of these great gifts because of the struggles they went through to enable me to have a better life.

Lineage is …