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Self Love: We Can't Love Others Until We Love Ourselves

I am just having this revelation. I have always known this on a conceptual level but at this moment I am experiencing the great relief, knowing and freedom that comes from accepting this and embracing this through experiential reflectiveness.

We can't love others until we love ourselves is a common phrase we often hear but what is self love?





I started the post with the above lines in 2016 and I’m continuing this in 2019, having deepened my journey into self-love and understanding how it has changed my life.
Self-love is about deeply accepting, appreciating and valuing yourself; what’s important to you, what fire do you need to fuel for yourself & how do you treat yourself in the world.
When I started this journey 3 years ago it was a concept and I’ve lived & breathed it into cells over the last 3 years. It’s been a journey of great discomfort and pain at times, the unravelling and having to face myself had been challenging and many tears have been shed but it’s been worth…
Recent posts

Autism & Mothering - What I've Learnt & What the Journey has Given Me

On 4th April it was Autism Awareness Day.  Years ago these days would have passed me by with little concern but over the last 8 years I have become more and more aware of the importance as my child has been diagnosed as being on the Autistic Spectrum.

It's the journey of being his mother that inspired this blog so I wanted to share a piece I wrote a while back about what I've gained from my amazing son.


Emotional and physical demandsBeing a mother is emotionally and physically demanding. Being a mother when there are additional needs can be additionally challenging as you try to hold together someone else’s world, so they can feel safe in the ordinary day to day.  Often those with asd require additional support with their emotions, which feel overwhelming and challenging to understand.  My own experience was physical too,  particularly when my son was a toddler and physical expression was more available to him than verbal.  The toughest days felt mentally and physically exhaustin…

A Solo Holiday to Ibiza - Mum Escape

A holiday on my own and my first trip to Ibiza, some mental space away in the sunshine age 37 married and with 2 children. 



After years of not travelling very far as my husband is scared to fly, I felt the itch to see the world and be warmed by the sun.  When a friend invited me to his 50th birthday at the amazing Atzaro in Ibiza I knew I had to go and would figure out the how. 
I procrastinated and 3 months before the party it was time to commit and look at flights and hotels. On a part time salary I needed to be creative to give myself a relaxing break that was within my budget as a solo traveller. 
I stayed in Santa Eulalia which was recommended at a Grupotel Spa Hotel for 3 nights, it was affordable for and comfortable. For my next trip I would definitely look to stay at the Atzaro for a total wind-down break.  Flights I booked via British Airways and got a great deal using my Avios and in school summer holidays too. 
The Highs of Solo Travelling as a Mother



I got to this just about me; …

5 Ways To Deal With Emotional Overwhelm As A Mother

Alongside the joys being a mother can be difficult; dealing with emotions of others whilst also having to manage our own issues and emotions can be challenging and lead to overwhelm.
A classic sign of this can be fight, flight, freeze or fawn: wishing we could be somewhere else, feeling like we are wanting to get away, change the situation, wirthdrawing into ourselves or excessively putting others needs before our own. 
So what can we do to support ourselves as mothers when our children feel challenging and time, privacy and external support may not be readily available?
Here are 5 things you could try:
Take a Break
The to do list can feel endless, the children are in overwhelm and every sense bit of patience within feels like it’s escaping. This can be a good time to stop, take a pause and re-group. Take a break with a cup of tea, step out for a walk, go to another room and do something that’s about you. 
Ask for Help
A partner is not always available but where else can we get physical and …

Honouring Our Lineage

You Were Inside Your Grandmother as She Carried Your Mother in Her Belly

I come from a long line of strong women wo have perserved and loved through cultural, societal and economical limitations, often to the detriment to their own health.

The stories they carried have been so strongly rooted and passed down throughout my life that I almost feel their trauma and pain in my life which looks so different to theirs.

As I struggled to heal and adapt to motherhood, all this pain was raw and living just under the surface of me, I could feel it, hear it and sense it.  Though I knew it wasn't mine I realised I carried it and had to honour it.

In order to honour their sacrifices and pain I would have to understand my place in this line.  I was an educated woman, married by my own choice with 2 children.  I had carved out a creative career and had been independent.  I had so many of these great gifts because of the struggles they went through to enable me to have a better life.

Lineage is …

Healing after Childhood and Birth Trauma

Where Did Acacia Woman Come From? My journey of self-discovery and healing through Motherhood.

Acacia Woman was born out a barren and destroyed inner space, where there seemed to be nothing left.
Then a choice was made to plant a seed. That seed was nurtured by life and grew into a magnificent, strong Acacia Tree, with deep roots and high branches that sustain it allow it to flourish.
The tree is everything to everyone, a place of warmth, nourishment & protection.  The tree is a Woman, A Goddess.

The journey of Acacia Woman developed from London Mum. In 2011 I had my first son, after a traumatic birth experience I had undiagnosed PTSD and a childhood trauma had been triggered to the surface.
When I became pregnant for a second time 20 months late, I knew I needed to get support, something was not right beyond the 'norma;' struggles of motherhood. I was not enjoying my life, my relationship or motherhood. I loved my son deeply but internally I was struggling, life didn'…

Getting Married After Children

After 9 years together, 2 children, a house purchase and watching all our friends get married, Scott & I got engaged in 2015 and married in 2016. We had a lovely year from Proposal to Honeymoon.

Having watched and spoken to many friends who had got married before having children, I could see that whilst some aspects to planning a wedding day where the same, getting married with children does have some particular aspects to consider. These are the main points I discovered:
Everyone Loves a Wedding
This didn't change when we got MAC (Married After Children), actually the support and enthusiasm from those around us carried us through that period and supported us in having a magical time throughout the whole period.
Whilst I had comments from others about when we would get married or why we weren't (and my own inner-critic at times) before we were married, no one mentioned the fact that we were having a wedding after having clearly been living together and created a family after o…